i am as thin
as thin air
just an ethereal
gesture in the
cold morning air

floating for a moment
above the frozen
ground that is
covered with silent
untouched snow

a beam of red
morning light
is the only sign
of upcoming warmth
an expectant promise

the silence is
broken for a second
as two hands break
a small glimmering
piece of ice

two hands that
break me again
in a thousand
tiny pieces
i am dispersed

until the wind
blows up the pieces
and assembles an
insignificant but
hopeful heap

another attempt
to raise myself
i create an image
of my future self
as if my life

is still waiting
to be born
i am still the
unfulfilled promise
written in thin air


too often
we are not able 
to see the road
not forward
not backwards

somehow we slipped
underneath the surface
caught by unspoken
covered by circumstantial

an old trick
we got accustomed to
early in life
our feet do not touch
the massive ground
and our heads
shuttered from the
enlightening skies

until one day
these feelings catch us
and the tears 
accompanying them
harshly and gently
show us
the full embracement
of pure and utter love
of life itself

then we know
this catharsis
invites us to
follow our
unknown road

so we are 
overground again
and walking
a little bit more
in our own
authentic shoes


worries are like bugs
they come in swarms
to annoy me 
to the bone

as my mind clings
like a hawk to it’s prey
taking them 
and me everywhere

as if i am blindly
driving multiple 
racing cars

bluntly unaware 
of a finishing line

until suddenly
i become
aware that the world
is so much larger

so much larger

the racing cars 
come to a 
complete standstill

the drivers 
looking around
as astonished children

that their toys
are not real


new doors open
the whirlwind sweeps
the last remains 
of my worries away

breathing fresh air
in to the bones
and veins of my life

i leave the circuit


as the poet showed me
where do i put my head
down here 
in the maelstrom
or up there 

between the odd
mix of white
wooden planks
that makes up
this bell tower

and he smiled at me 
as we all
felt the difference 
the neighbour like god 
showed us

the difference
in tune of life
between night and day
between surviving and living 
between dwelling and being 

if only 
we all knew
day by day
where the bell’s 
clapper resides


as if i am hit by a baseball bat
struck on the left side of my chin
my head turns around 
i am launched into space

what’s the truth of my feelings?
what’s the truth of my actions?
my head keeps spinning
i’m leaving the warm arms of mother earth

i’m on a journey to be turned inside out
do you hear the sound of the bang 
that comes with it? 
i am born again in total exposure

nowhere to hide nor to glide
into the soft wombs of cosiness
i am shaking and trembling
like a young leave in a hale storm

the seducing picture of my ideal smooth life
is burning at the haystacks of reality
i see in a glimpse that the army 
of fellow men is out there, somewhere

i have to accept myself totally
with everything, no hiding
nor running away with leave me alone’s
this is it, this is me, now

this is what i am
this is what i feel
this is want i want
this is what i know 
and don’t know

no shame, no guilt, no fear
that the womb of safety
turns it’s backs on me
my eyes wide open, my heart

pounding, like the rhythm
of the spaceships’ engines
this is my dance for truth
nothing more, nothing less

so, what’s the truth, 
what’s my truth
what’s my dance
tell me now

i am ready


drink from the jar of mortality
let go of the grasp of the super ego 
it wants to control everything 

the mind is a bad storyteller
as much as it is addicted to distraction
and humourless repeating judgements

it goes on and on… until you really listen
it’s all noise created by the super ego
to keep you numb in your musty comfort zone

similar to the slowly suffocating pretended love
of mother’s fear based control
see how it prevents you from flying

note with clarity that your will is crippled 
like an ant squashed under the chimps’ fingertip, 
watch how she eats it slowly

drink from the jar of mortality
awake, and you will never be safe again
but you will fly and catch the light of the sun


bring everything
into the temple of truth
don’t leave out the shadows

as if being enlightened
means being clean

of course, the cries of ego
aren’t exactly pretty
they’re disturbing and painful

but know that beyond your fear
is a field of courage
underneath your loneliness
is a universe of connection

you just have to touch your shadow
and have faith
that the other side will emerge

it’s not about being happy
it’s about being alive

to include the shadow
is to transcend into light

and you will see
that you’re worst nightmares
are revolving doors to everlasting joy


i don’t want to live
in the periphery

i want to live 
in the centre

of my passion
moving like

a knight riding his
powerful horse

right in the eye
of the storm

encountering victories
and inevitable defeats

i smile at both these
consequences of

life at the edge of
infinite possibilities 

astonishing life energy
hunts through my veins

while writing this down
-it scared me too long-

i don’t want 
to end up being

old and bored, staring, 
holding tongues, 

in our mutual emptiness
my heart detached

from my so called 
life partner, vegetating

at the other side of 
the restaurant table

both unaware of the taste
of the tasteless food

at home the bricks 
of my duplicated house

fence my mediocrity
and avoided turning points

god, give me ten years
of unrestrained passion 

and an early painful death
in stead of a hundred years

of sleeping in my pale
outworn red raincoat

forgotten about
the sunshine of life